We think that separation anxiety only happens when it’s the first day of our child’s school or maybe his first field trip. It is hard for us, parents, to accept the distance, and we worry too much and sometimes, get too emotional. However, life calls us to be away from each other in some instances, and we need to acknowledge and accept that.
The word “alone” confuses and frightens many. People believe that being alone with your grief is the most terrifying thing that can happen to them since they do not know what to do with themselves when they are alone with their pain. Others prefer to be facing their grief alone as they may be feeling like no one cares, or that their loved ones are not able to help them cope with their emotions; which is why some choose to try talk therapy online to express their thoughts and feelings. Whether you are the person who is scared of solitude or someone who embraces it, here are some ways that you can deal with grief on your own.
1. Allow Yourself to Face the Void
The whirlwind of thoughts and emotions within you during this time of loss can be scary but they are only thoughts and emotions. Don’t be afraid to open yourself up and to acknowledge what is within you, no matter what it is. You may feel angry about your loved one’s death. You may feel absolutely nothing at all. Realize these feelings and allow yourself to experience them fully. Only once you’ve accepted your feelings will you be able to truly begin the healing process.
2. Put These Feelings Down Somewhere
The best way to work through feelings has always been to write them down or to find a creative outlet in which to express them. If you’re a writer, start a journal that tracks your emotional status daily and pour every thought you have into it. If you’re someone who enjoys creating music, start writing songs that reflect how you feel about your loss and how you are dealing with it. No matter what creative activity you choose to do, it’s important that you find something to pour your emotions into so that they don’t remain bottled up.
3. Don’t Fall Into a Rut
When you begin grieving, it is necessary to allow yourself to rest and to take a short break from the things that you normally do daily. However, making a habit of this will end up causing more harm than help. After you’ve dealt with the initial feelings that followed the loss of your loved one, make an effort to stick to the schedule that you had prior to grieving. You may not feel like doing anything at all and this is natural. You don’t have to push yourself to do everything that you used to but you should make an effort to do the important things so you don’t put yourself in a worse position mentally.
4. Put Together a Shrine or Dedicate a Space to Your Loved One
Just because your loved one isn’t physically with you doesn’t mean that you have to forget about them and remove every memory of them for your life. Instead, build a shrine or create a sacred space where you can gather some of their belongings and remind yourself of the importance that they had in your life. You may even want to go to that shrine to vent sometimes when you are having difficulty coping with the loss. However, don’t let this shrine get in the way of your grief process by making you refuse to accept the death.
5. Maintain Yourself
It won’t do you any good to treat your body terribly while you are already struggling emotionally. Remember to do things like eat right, exercise, groom, shower, and maintain your overall health and hygiene. Doing these things will make you feel better and will help you maintain some normality in your life while you are coping with the loss.
It was a normal Sunday morning and my kids were all happy and excited. Too busy with life and work, they told me it was Father’s Day since I clearly forgot about it. They expected us to go out and eat somewhere fancy. I was still in bed and I knew there’s barely $50 in my wallet. How can I feed a family of seven on a sweet restaurant with only $50? I chuckled and remembered that I had to call my Grandpa and tell him Happy Father’s Day.
We all, at some point in our journey, experienced or will experience to lose someone. Whether it be a parent, a child, or a sibling, a partner or a friend, we grieve all the same. Days of sadness will seem unremitting. For a while, you will be in silence, feeling numb. But after the grieving, the hope of joy of the morning will come.
In grieving, you feel down and lost. Depression and sadness sink in. You either forgot your urge to eat, or you binge-eat just anything, not taking into consideration the food you choose. Mind you, some foods can worsen your depression, and there are also some that will help improve it.
Losing a loved one can be hard. It can be even more difficult when the grief that you experience becomes overwhelming or causes you to develop a mental illness. These are the times when it is most important to seek help so that you can better manage and process your grief. But before you start googling “therapist near me”, here are some things that you can expect out of grief counseling if finding a local therapist with BetterHelp might be an option.
- You Will Get Emotional
Grief counseling is by no means clean or easy. You are not going to walk into the office and walk out an hour later, clear of any negative emotions and free of the grief that used to control you. There are going to be tears, anger, and uncomfortable discussions. You are going to have to face your grief head on and you will have to talk about things that you would want to avoid on your own. Counseling is not about getting around your grief. It is about getting through your grief. Expect to face some unwanted emotions and thoughts when you get into therapy.
- You Will Be Forced to Do Exercises
Small tasks and milestones are important when you are going through grief counseling. For example, let’s imagine that you have lost a child recently. You may have a task in the beginning where you will be required to enter your child’s room and go through his or her things to sort out what you may want to keep and what things you can trash or give away. Later on in the process, your therapist may ask you to go through with donating and trashing some of your child’s things. It can be brutal to do but it is crucial to helping you through the grief process and allowing you to move on. These are the types of things that you may experience in therapy.
- Change Is Not Immediate
Much like how the memory of your loved one will not go away, grief is not going anywhere either. Over time, how you cope with the loss of your loved one will improve. For now, however, you will get the coping mechanisms from therapy that you will need for the future. Don’t walk into the therapist’s office and expect them to make you feel better again. This is not how therapy works and this mindset will immediately set you up for failure. Instead, walk into the therapist’s office with an open heart and an open mind and accept everything that comes your way.
- You May Not Get What You Wanted
Therapy doesn’t always work the way you want it to. This is a harsh statement, but it is the truth. You may end up working with a therapist who doesn’t work for you and therefore can’t help you properly. You may not be ready for therapy or you may even be fighting it unconsciously and preventing yourself from healing and moving forward. There is an abundance of reasons that therapy may not work for you. If it doesn’t, keep looking for help and don’t lose hope.
- Grief Requires Constant Work
Long after you have finished working with your therapist, you will still be feeling the effects of your grief. The symptoms may not be as serious as they were when you initially experienced the loss but they will still be there. Know this and know that you will have to be working on your grief for the remainder of your life. What you learn in therapy is designed to help you achieve this.
Grief, as with any emotional problem, comes with its own set of symptoms. However, these symptoms will vary from person to person depending on how they normally react and cope when faced with traumatic events.The emptiness, as discussed in this BetterHelp article, depends on how one copes. Whether you are feeling empty or you are having a difficult time getting through the day without crying, here are the common symptoms of grief that all people deal with.
Emotional Symptoms of Grief
- Emptiness- When you initially learn about the loss of a loved one, you may feel a degree of emotional emptiness or numbness. This is due to the fact that you are dealing with the shock of the news and your mind has not yet processed the information in a way that it can cope with yet. This feeling, however, typically wears off eventually and you will begin to experience the other symptoms on this list.
- Sadness- Sadness is the most common symptom of grief. You should expect to feel sadness as a result of the loss of your loved one.
- Anger- You may feel angry at the world or at your loved one for the grief that you are experiencing. You shouldn’t feel bad about feeling this way as it is natural to be angry at something when your loved one passes. However, remember that this feeling will fade away as you go through the grief process and move on to other emotions.
- Fear- If you’ve lost a great many people in a short period of time, you may begin feeling scared or worried that something terrible will happen to you as well. This is natural as well and will fade over time. Try to find ways that you can alleviate this fear so that you will be able to keep it from preventing you from living life.
Physical Manifestations of Grief
- Fatigue- Grief not only causes emotional problems but manifests itself physically as well. One of the most common physical symptoms of grief is fatigue. You may feel as though you are not able to gather the energy needed to do basic tasks throughout your day. You may also begin sleeping more as a result of your loss. This type of symptom will fix itself over time.
- Unexplained aches and pains- If you’re grieving and you’re having a difficult time dealing with it, you most likely are dealing with this symptom. It is common for people dealing with physical pain when they are also feeling extreme emotional pain. These types of aches and pains include headaches, stomach aches, and back pain.
- Eating too much or eating too little– You may find after you’ve lost your loved one that you have absolutely no appetite at all or you may develop a voracious appetite. Either way, this is natural for those dealing with grief. You should keep both of these symptoms in check to prevent yourself from starving, overeating, or developing an eating disorder.
Changes That You Will Experience in Life
Grief has the ability to affect your body as well as your surroundings. Some external symptoms of grief include social changes and changes in faith. Through your grief, you will be able to determine who you truly want in your life and you will probably have moments where you will question your faith and the way that the world around you works. Expect these things to come into existence during the grieving process.
Most importantly, if any of the symptoms above stick around for months and you feel that you have not moved forward in your grief process, seek help as you may have developed a mental illness as a result of your grief.
Your father is one of the most valuable people that you will ever have in your life as with all of your family members, but most likely there was no one as close to you as your father. What do you do when your father passes? This is a hard question that most of us would just prefer not to think about even as our parents reach their mid-life. We all must face this sooner or later, but with the help of this article, you will be better prepared to handle the inevitable. The most important part is that not all of these methods require a form of money.
Whether the death of a loved-one is expected due to a chronic illness or from an untimely demise brought about by accidents, the grieving process is a huge and stressful challenge. It feels like a part of your body has been amputated, a big part of your life has been taken away, a permanent loss of something very significant. An inevitable part of life that will require you to reprogram and restart a new chapter without them. So, how do we stay strong from this powerful blow of life? How do we cope with this stressful event and move on to the next chapter of our lives bringing only memories of the ones dear to us?
Grief can be an overwhelming emotion that, if not properly processed and overcome by a person, can lead to deleterious mental effects. People cope in many different ways, but with recent advances in internet technology, seeking for support and help can go beyond the virtual realms of chat room services. This article will introduce different online chat rooms that solely talks about grief, loss and how to bounce back and start a new life.