The Road To Recovery After Bereavement

 

 

Source: mothersunion.org

 

I am witness to the grief and overwhelming sadness of having to lose a loved one – a brother. I was broken, angry, guilty, depressed – and much more. I could only imagine how more magnified those emotions were felt by my parents. Like most parents, mine never thought their son would leave this world ahead of them, and acceptance of that fact was one of the most difficult ordeals that they had, perhaps even until now.

The demise of a loved one almost always leaves us stuck in depression and grief, and some of us remain that way because we do not know how to move forward. However daunting it may be, we soon realize that we must get up and overcome the stage of bereavement to follow the road to recovery – because life must go on.

 

Moving Forward

Moving on is part of the stage of loss that goes along with acceptance. It is the time when one has come to a realization that their loved one is gone and we are left only with vivid memories of them and their lives with us. As for me, moving forward means realizing that my brother is no longer here to joke around with, to fight with, and to share stories with. I still miss him, though, sorely, but I had found healthy and helpful ways to remember him and move forward at the same time, and I’m going to share them here.

Keep yourself busy. Initially, you’re going to have to dump yourself with work to keep your mind off your loss and believe me, it helps. If your job entails you to report to the office by 8 am, leave the house at 7 if you’ve been awake since dawn. You’d be more productive working than depressing over something that cannot be undone. If you’re a home-based mom like I am, write your heart out. Work when you’re done taking care of your family. If nothing comes to mind, search for a new recipe and make it for supper. Do something worthwhile.

Keep in touch with old friends. I had a friend who lost her boyfriend of two years – from a heart attack. They were supposed to get married in a few months. She was devastated and she went away for some time. She kept in touch with me when she learned about the tragic death of my brother, and it was such a blessing that we reunited and rekindled our friendship. We helped each other heal our hurts by talking about them, crying over them, and attending worship service together. Sometimes it feels much better to be with people who have gone through what you’ve gone through.

 

Source: bfwh.nhs.uk

 

Live, and I mean just that. Continue living life with the fond memories of your loved one always in your heart. I have learned to talk about my happy memories with my brother among my friends and family. To be honest, tears still start to show, but only because I miss him, not because I have not accepted his death. It is only but right for us – along with those who have experienced sadness and grief from bereavement – to live our lives and make it worthwhile, because death comes for us, too – for all of us.

 

Source: stbernardchurch.org

 

Healing Strategies To Cope With Bereavement

Source: tinybuddha.com

Moving Forward

It is without a doubt that one of the most stressful events in the life of an individual is to lose a loved one from a sudden or mysterious death. To the observer, the pain and loneliness are there but can be dealt with easily, especially if it was ‘a good way to go.’  But to the bereaved, it is more than just the pain. It is the thought of not having to see or touch your loved one forever. Feelings of shock, anger, seclusion, sadness, and confusion get all mixed up from within. There is hopelessness that the wounds can never be healed.

As time goes by, the pain and the sadness lessen, usually after you have gone through the denial, anger, and depression stages of grief. Amidst the mourning, you are now able to open your mind to help yourself with some essential healing measures to cope with bereavement.

Continue reading “Healing Strategies To Cope With Bereavement” »

How Parents Can Cope With The Loss Of Their Son

Source: morningjournal.com

The death of someone, though it is a natural phenomenon, is something that you and I will never get used to experiencing. When my parents lost their first-born son, my oldest brother, it was as though everything went blank and the world stopped revolving. The pain was too much to bear, and looking at my parents made the hurt worse. As a family, we had to seek help from a minister and a therapist to guide us through the grief process. Now, I would say we have managed to live life with a purpose, although it wasn’t easy at all.

We still think of him, miss him and wish he were around. However, things have settled and the family has accepted the inevitable fact. Here are some of the things that my parents did to cope with the loss of their son. Continue reading “How Parents Can Cope With The Loss Of Their Son” »

Treasuring The Objects

Source: lh3.googleusercontent.com

The passing of a loved one is a sensitive subject that this article will not touch on but rather on what to do with the possessions afterward. Do you keep everything in a box and hide it in the closet? Is your box made from cardboard or of glass material? If it’s in a glass where everyone can see, it may look creepy. Well, that depends on the item and the sentimental value that it has to you. Here’s an interesting article that would be great for future discussions.

 

What’s To Treasure

Unquestionable

*Anything with a story

This is slightly different from gifts with sentimental value because this is a story that you want to share which opens a world of possibilities. Perhaps you can place this item on a glass pedestal somewhere or in a frame where all can see it. If this sounds interesting, do read on.

*Sentimental Value

Not everything has a story that we are willing to share outside of family or with a therapist. Items with sentimental value are better placed somewhere with the least amount of people can see, such as the bedroom, or the family room.

Source: bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com

Continue reading “Treasuring The Objects” »

The Stages Of Grief And Loss

Source: wendykeller.com

It has been a year since your father passed away. Still, the anguish and loneliness creep in and you continue to grieve by hibernating in the corners of your room, playing busy with work, or simply crying yourself to sleep most nights. You might think, “Will I ever get over my Dad’s death? Will I ever be happy again?”

Losing someone we love is one of the most difficult things that we can ever experience. Though death is a natural phenomenon, that fact is easier understood than accepted. It can never be dealt with just like that. But as the saying goes, this too shall pass, and it will. But then, sometimes you wonder if the pain is ever going to end. How long is the normal way to grieve? Can you do something about it?

The process of grieving is something that we cannot control. Not everyone grieves the same way you do. They may have different channels to their grief. Nevertheless, healing from the pain of losing someone comprises different stages. You will do well if you are aware of these stages. In that way, you can come to terms with your emotions and finally be ready to let go of the pain. Continue reading “The Stages Of Grief And Loss” »

Dealing With Depression After The Loss Of A Loved One

Source: scarymommy.com

Depression vs. Grief

Of all the painful experiences that we go through in life, one of the most devastating is the death of a loved one. We may deal with the loss in different ways, but the emotions are the same – sadness, anger, anxiety, hopelessness. It is just too heartbreaking. Sometimes, the grieving process lengthens and becomes long term. Therefore, the individual suffers complicated grief. When this grief is so intense that it affects his day-to-day activities, he has possibly gone into a depressive state, which causes more negative emotions and behaviors, like loss of will, alcohol addiction, which cause compounding problems as they have to deal with more issues and seek help with addiction, depression, among others.

Continue reading “Dealing With Depression After The Loss Of A Loved One” »

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