We think that separation anxiety only happens when it’s the first day of our child’s school or maybe his first field trip. It is hard for us, parents, to accept the distance, and we worry too much and sometimes, get too emotional. However, life calls us to be away from each other in some instances, and we need to acknowledge and accept that.
The word “alone” confuses and frightens many. People believe that being alone with your grief is the most terrifying thing that can happen to them since they do not know what to do with themselves when they are alone with their pain. Others prefer to be facing their grief alone as they may be feeling like no one cares, or that their loved ones are not able to help them cope with their emotions; which is why some choose to try talk therapy online to express their thoughts and feelings. Whether you are the person who is scared of solitude or someone who embraces it, here are some ways that you can deal with grief on your own.
1. Allow Yourself to Face the Void
The whirlwind of thoughts and emotions within you during this time of loss can be scary but they are only thoughts and emotions. Don’t be afraid to open yourself up and to acknowledge what is within you, no matter what it is. You may feel angry about your loved one’s death. You may feel absolutely nothing at all. Realize these feelings and allow yourself to experience them fully. Only once you’ve accepted your feelings will you be able to truly begin the healing process.
2. Put These Feelings Down Somewhere
The best way to work through feelings has always been to write them down or to find a creative outlet in which to express them. If you’re a writer, start a journal that tracks your emotional status daily and pour every thought you have into it. If you’re someone who enjoys creating music, start writing songs that reflect how you feel about your loss and how you are dealing with it. No matter what creative activity you choose to do, it’s important that you find something to pour your emotions into so that they don’t remain bottled up.
3. Don’t Fall Into a Rut
When you begin grieving, it is necessary to allow yourself to rest and to take a short break from the things that you normally do daily. However, making a habit of this will end up causing more harm than help. After you’ve dealt with the initial feelings that followed the loss of your loved one, make an effort to stick to the schedule that you had prior to grieving. You may not feel like doing anything at all and this is natural. You don’t have to push yourself to do everything that you used to but you should make an effort to do the important things so you don’t put yourself in a worse position mentally.
4. Put Together a Shrine or Dedicate a Space to Your Loved One
Just because your loved one isn’t physically with you doesn’t mean that you have to forget about them and remove every memory of them for your life. Instead, build a shrine or create a sacred space where you can gather some of their belongings and remind yourself of the importance that they had in your life. You may even want to go to that shrine to vent sometimes when you are having difficulty coping with the loss. However, don’t let this shrine get in the way of your grief process by making you refuse to accept the death.
5. Maintain Yourself
It won’t do you any good to treat your body terribly while you are already struggling emotionally. Remember to do things like eat right, exercise, groom, shower, and maintain your overall health and hygiene. Doing these things will make you feel better and will help you maintain some normality in your life while you are coping with the loss.
It was a normal Sunday morning and my kids were all happy and excited. Too busy with life and work, they told me it was Father’s Day since I clearly forgot about it. They expected us to go out and eat somewhere fancy. I was still in bed and I knew there’s barely $50 in my wallet. How can I feed a family of seven on a sweet restaurant with only $50? I chuckled and remembered that I had to call my Grandpa and tell him Happy Father’s Day.
We all, at some point in our journey, experienced or will experience to lose someone. Whether it be a parent, a child, or a sibling, a partner or a friend, we grieve all the same. Days of sadness will seem unremitting. For a while, you will be in silence, feeling numb. But after the grieving, the hope of joy of the morning will come.
In grieving, you feel down and lost. Depression and sadness sink in. You either forgot your urge to eat, or you binge-eat just anything, not taking into consideration the food you choose. Mind you, some foods can worsen your depression, and there are also some that will help improve it.