We all, at some point in our journey, experienced or will experience to lose someone. Whether it be a parent, a child, or a sibling, a partner or a friend, we grieve all the same. Days of sadness will seem unremitting. For a while, you will be in silence, feeling numb. But after the grieving, the hope of joy of the morning will come.
“A time to weep… a time to mourn.”
It is just but a normal behavior to weep and grieve. An expected after effect when you lose someone or something. Even the Bible reminds us that there’s a right time for everything. In Ecclesiastes 3:4 it is said, “…there’s a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Weeping for dancing is a long and tiring process. How long? It will depend on you. Only you can dictate when you want to cry, until when you want to stay in that dark place.
“A time to laugh… a time to dance.”
Very often we hear, “Time heals all wound.” Can time heal the wound and stop the pain?
I was 27 when I lost my third born who happened to live for just 8 hours. Though I wasn’t able to hold my son in my arms, it’s the same pain I feel when I lost my mother, my father, and all others who are so dear to me. I wept. I questioned God. I asked myself. What wrong have I done? What have I not done? For days and nights, I was just there lying in my bed. People come and go to sympathize. Over and over I hear them say, “It will be okay. Time heals all wounds.” Oh, how I wish for that time to come. When will I feel no pain? But months passed by, that time never came.
My youngest finally came to me. Forgetting that I still have two kids with me, who also are mourning and hurting. This realization is what first made me let go of that pillow that’s been my source of comfort. Acceptance took me out of my bed that’s carrying the burden of my grief. Faith lifted my feet to take that first step out of my room that’s been my fortress.
It’s been 17 years. The pain is still there. Dreams of my son holding my hands again visit me, leaving teary nights. But holding on to the faith that’s in me is what motivates me and gives me the hope that one day I’ll be reunited with my son, to play with him, to laugh with him, and to dance with him in heaven.
Pain may not cease, but it eases over time. A support group, family, and what you believe in will play an essential role in how well and how fast you will recover from the pit of grief. At a time, you can grieve all you can. With faith, embrace, understand, and overcome your pain.