Grief Counseling What To Expect

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Losing a loved one can be hard. It can be even more difficult when the grief that you experience becomes overwhelming or causes you to develop a mental illness. These are the times when it is most important to seek help so that you can better manage and process your grief. But before you start googling “therapist near me”, here are some things that you can expect out of grief counseling if finding a local therapist with BetterHelp might be an option.

 

  1. You Will Get Emotional
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Grief counseling is by no means clean or easy. You are not going to walk into the office and walk out an hour later, clear of any negative emotions and free of the grief that used to control you. There are going to be tears, anger, and uncomfortable discussions. You are going to have to face your grief head on and you will have to talk about things that you would want to avoid on your own. Counseling is not about getting around your grief. It is about getting through your grief. Expect to face some unwanted emotions and thoughts when you get into therapy.

 

  1. You Will Be Forced to Do Exercises

Small tasks and milestones are important when you are going through grief counseling. For example, let’s imagine that you have lost a child recently. You may have a task in the beginning where you will be required to enter your child’s room and go through his or her things to sort out what you may want to keep and what things you can trash or give away. Later on in the process, your therapist may ask you to go through with donating and trashing some of your child’s things. It can be brutal to do but it is crucial to helping you through the grief process and allowing you to move on. These are the types of things that you may experience in therapy.

 

  1. Change Is Not Immediate
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Much like how the memory of your loved one will not go away, grief is not going anywhere either. Over time, how you cope with the loss of your loved one will improve. For now, however, you will get the coping mechanisms from therapy that you will need for the future. Don’t walk into the therapist’s office and expect them to make you feel better again. This is not how therapy works and this mindset will immediately set you up for failure. Instead, walk into the therapist’s office with an open heart and an open mind and accept everything that comes your way.

 

  1. You May Not Get What You Wanted

Therapy doesn’t always work the way you want it to. This is a harsh statement, but it is the truth. You may end up working with a therapist who doesn’t work for you and therefore can’t help you properly. You may not be ready for therapy or you may even be fighting it unconsciously and preventing yourself from healing and moving forward. There is an abundance of reasons that therapy may not work for you. If it doesn’t, keep looking for help and don’t lose hope.

 

  1. Grief Requires Constant Work

Long after you have finished working with your therapist, you will still be feeling the effects of your grief. The symptoms may not be as serious as they were when you initially experienced the loss but they will still be there. Know this and know that you will have to be working on your grief for the remainder of your life. What you learn in therapy is designed to help you achieve this.

 

Sources:

http://www.facingbereavement.co.uk/bereavementcounselling.html

https://whatsyourgrief.com/finding-a-grief-counselor/

 

Common Symptoms Of Grief

Grief, as with any emotional problem, comes with its own set of symptoms. However, these symptoms will vary from person to person depending on how they normally react and cope when faced with traumatic events.The emptiness, as discussed in this BetterHelp article, depends on how one copes. Whether you are feeling empty or you are having a difficult time getting through the day without crying, here are the common symptoms of grief that all people deal with.

Emotional Symptoms of Grief

  • Emptiness- When you initially learn about the loss of a loved one, you may feel a degree of emotional emptiness or numbness. This is due to the fact that you are dealing with the shock of the news and your mind has not yet processed the information in a way that it can cope with yet. This feeling, however, typically wears off eventually and you will begin to experience the other symptoms on this list.
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  • Sadness- Sadness is the most common symptom of grief. You should expect to feel sadness as a result of the loss of your loved one.
  • Anger- You may feel angry at the world or at your loved one for the grief that you are experiencing. You shouldn’t feel bad about feeling this way as it is natural to be angry at something when your loved one passes. However, remember that this feeling will fade away as you go through the grief process and move on to other emotions.
  • Fear- If you’ve lost a great many people in a short period of time, you may begin feeling scared or worried that something terrible will happen to you as well. This is natural as well and will fade over time. Try to find ways that you can alleviate this fear so that you will be able to keep it from preventing you from living life.
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Physical Manifestations of Grief

  • Fatigue- Grief not only causes emotional problems but manifests itself physically as well. One of the most common physical symptoms of grief is fatigue. You may feel as though you are not able to gather the energy needed to do basic tasks throughout your day. You may also begin sleeping more as a result of your loss. This type of symptom will fix itself over time.
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  • Unexplained aches and pains- If you’re grieving and you’re having a difficult time dealing with it, you most likely are dealing with this symptom. It is common for people dealing with physical pain when they are also feeling extreme emotional pain. These types of aches and pains include headaches, stomach aches, and back pain.
  • Eating too much or eating too little– You may find after you’ve lost your loved one that you have absolutely no appetite at all or you may develop a voracious appetite. Either way, this is natural for those dealing with grief. You should keep both of these symptoms in check to prevent yourself from starving, overeating, or developing an eating disorder.

Changes That You Will Experience in Life

Grief has the ability to affect your body as well as your surroundings. Some external symptoms of grief include social changes and changes in faith. Through your grief, you will be able to determine who you truly want in your life and you will probably have moments where you will question your faith and the way that the world around you works. Expect these things to come into existence during the grieving process.

Most importantly, if any of the symptoms above stick around for months and you feel that you have not moved forward in your grief process, seek help as you may have developed a mental illness as a result of your grief.

 

Sources:

http://www.webmd.com/balance/tc/grief-and-grieving-symptoms

http://www.psychguides.com/guides/grief-symptoms-causes-and-effects/

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/effects-of-bereavement.html

 

 

Memorializing Your Father

 

Source:istock.com

Your father is one of the most valuable people that you will ever have in your life as with all of your family members, but most likely there was no one as close to you as your father. What do you do when your father passes? This is a hard question that most of us would just prefer not to think about even as our parents reach their mid-life. We all must face this sooner or later, but with the help of this article, you will be better prepared to handle the inevitable. The most important part is that not all of these methods require a form of money.

Continue reading “Memorializing Your Father” »

Coping With Bereavement, Going On With Life

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Whether the death of a loved-one is expected due to a chronic illness or from an untimely demise brought about by accidents, the grieving process is a huge and stressful challenge. It feels like a part of your body has been amputated, a big part of your life has been taken away, a permanent loss of something very significant. An inevitable part of life that will require you to reprogram and restart a new chapter without them. So, how do we stay strong from this powerful blow of life? How do we cope with this stressful event and move on to the next chapter of our lives bringing only memories of the ones dear to us?

Continue reading “Coping With Bereavement, Going On With Life” »

Recovering From Grief In A Chat Room

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Grief can be an overwhelming emotion that, if not properly processed and overcome by a person, can lead to deleterious mental effects. People cope in many different ways, but with recent advances in internet technology, seeking for support and help can go beyond the virtual realms of chat room services. This article will introduce different online chat rooms that solely talks about grief, loss and how to bounce back and start a new life.

Continue reading “Recovering From Grief In A Chat Room” »

The Road To Recovery After Bereavement

 

 

Source: mothersunion.org

 

I am witness to the grief and overwhelming sadness of having to lose a loved one – a brother. I was broken, angry, guilty, depressed – and much more. I could only imagine how more magnified those emotions were felt by my parents. Like most parents, mine never thought their son would leave this world ahead of them, and acceptance of that fact was one of the most difficult ordeals that they had, perhaps even until now.

The demise of a loved one almost always leaves us stuck in depression and grief, and some of us remain that way because we do not know how to move forward. However daunting it may be, we soon realize that we must get up and overcome the stage of bereavement to follow the road to recovery – because life must go on.

 

Moving Forward

Moving on is part of the stage of loss that goes along with acceptance. It is the time when one has come to a realization that their loved one is gone and we are left only with vivid memories of them and their lives with us. As for me, moving forward means realizing that my brother is no longer here to joke around with, to fight with, and to share stories with. I still miss him, though, sorely, but I had found healthy and helpful ways to remember him and move forward at the same time, and I’m going to share them here.

Keep yourself busy. Initially, you’re going to have to dump yourself with work to keep your mind off your loss and believe me, it helps. If your job entails you to report to the office by 8 am, leave the house at 7 if you’ve been awake since dawn. You’d be more productive working than depressing over something that cannot be undone. If you’re a home-based mom like I am, write your heart out. Work when you’re done taking care of your family. If nothing comes to mind, search for a new recipe and make it for supper. Do something worthwhile.

Keep in touch with old friends. I had a friend who lost her boyfriend of two years – from a heart attack. They were supposed to get married in a few months. She was devastated and she went away for some time. She kept in touch with me when she learned about the tragic death of my brother, and it was such a blessing that we reunited and rekindled our friendship. We helped each other heal our hurts by talking about them, crying over them, and attending worship service together. Sometimes it feels much better to be with people who have gone through what you’ve gone through.

 

Source: bfwh.nhs.uk

 

Live, and I mean just that. Continue living life with the fond memories of your loved one always in your heart. I have learned to talk about my happy memories with my brother among my friends and family. To be honest, tears still start to show, but only because I miss him, not because I have not accepted his death. It is only but right for us – along with those who have experienced sadness and grief from bereavement – to live our lives and make it worthwhile, because death comes for us, too – for all of us.

 

Source: stbernardchurch.org

 

Healing Strategies To Cope With Bereavement

Source: tinybuddha.com

Moving Forward

It is without a doubt that one of the most stressful events in the life of an individual is to lose a loved one from a sudden or mysterious death. To the observer, the pain and loneliness are there but can be dealt with easily, especially if it was ‘a good way to go.’  But to the bereaved, it is more than just the pain. It is the thought of not having to see or touch your loved one forever. Feelings of shock, anger, seclusion, sadness, and confusion get all mixed up from within. There is hopelessness that the wounds can never be healed.

As time goes by, the pain and the sadness lessen, usually after you have gone through the denial, anger, and depression stages of grief. Amidst the mourning, you are now able to open your mind to help yourself with some essential healing measures to cope with bereavement.

Continue reading “Healing Strategies To Cope With Bereavement” »

How Parents Can Cope With The Loss Of Their Son

Source: morningjournal.com

The death of someone, though it is a natural phenomenon, is something that you and I will never get used to experiencing. When my parents lost their first-born son, my oldest brother, it was as though everything went blank and the world stopped revolving. The pain was too much to bear, and looking at my parents made the hurt worse. As a family, we had to seek help from a minister and a therapist to guide us through the grief process. Now, I would say we have managed to live life with a purpose, although it wasn’t easy at all.

We still think of him, miss him and wish he were around. However, things have settled and the family has accepted the inevitable fact. Here are some of the things that my parents did to cope with the loss of their son. Continue reading “How Parents Can Cope With The Loss Of Their Son” »

Treasuring The Objects

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The passing of a loved one is a sensitive subject that this article will not touch on but rather on what to do with the possessions afterward. Do you keep everything in a box and hide it in the closet? Is your box made from cardboard or of glass material? If it’s in a glass where everyone can see, it may look creepy. Well, that depends on the item and the sentimental value that it has to you. Here’s an interesting article that would be great for future discussions.

 

What’s To Treasure

Unquestionable

*Anything with a story

This is slightly different from gifts with sentimental value because this is a story that you want to share which opens a world of possibilities. Perhaps you can place this item on a glass pedestal somewhere or in a frame where all can see it. If this sounds interesting, do read on.

*Sentimental Value

Not everything has a story that we are willing to share outside of family or with a therapist. Items with sentimental value are better placed somewhere with the least amount of people can see, such as the bedroom, or the family room.

Source: bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com

Continue reading “Treasuring The Objects” »

The Stages Of Grief And Loss

Source: wendykeller.com

It has been a year since your father passed away. Still, the anguish and loneliness creep in and you continue to grieve by hibernating in the corners of your room, playing busy with work, or simply crying yourself to sleep most nights. You might think, “Will I ever get over my Dad’s death? Will I ever be happy again?”

Losing someone we love is one of the most difficult things that we can ever experience. Though death is a natural phenomenon, that fact is easier understood than accepted. It can never be dealt with just like that. But as the saying goes, this too shall pass, and it will. But then, sometimes you wonder if the pain is ever going to end. How long is the normal way to grieve? Can you do something about it?

The process of grieving is something that we cannot control. Not everyone grieves the same way you do. They may have different channels to their grief. Nevertheless, healing from the pain of losing someone comprises different stages. You will do well if you are aware of these stages. In that way, you can come to terms with your emotions and finally be ready to let go of the pain. Continue reading “The Stages Of Grief And Loss” »

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